So it’s coming up on two years since Obama was elected and apparently everything that happened to the country before and after him being elected is entirely his fault. At least according to all those forwarded emails my Dad keeps sending me. Apparently the current Democratic congress is the worst one ever. Quite a claim considering the past competition. I’m no history major and considering the claims made by elected officials neither are most of them but maybe they should start at the beginning. My memory may be a bit fuzzy but worst? Shouldn’t you include the congress that first met up and drafted the constitution and forgot to make slavery illegal? Must have been a cultural thing and as a result excusable I guess or maybe they were so busy feeling oppressed by the British they forgot they were doing the same thing to the good people helping them be prosperous. Then Lincoln brought about the 14^th amendment and granted freedom for the slaves and citizenship for anyone born in the US of A. Seemed like a good idea but I have yet to read about one freed slave getting their promised 40 acres and that mule. Gawd bless Spike Lee for keeping that dream alive by naming his production company after that promise. Any chance you might back off a bit with the white guilt Spike? No? Alright, my bad…still. And as far as the 14^th amendment goes there are now folks walking around today that think that it’s time has come and gone at least as far as the born in the US thanks you’re welcome part. Unless you’re white I’m assuming, have a good job and don’t have part of your name that can be found in the Koran. Then there was the congress that allowed the first and most historically written about to date stock market crash of 1929 slip by. Apparently one reason being for them not to get involved before it all went to shit was big banking felt it was none of their business to poke their noses in the system that allowed huge speculation and no credit to anyone feeling the need to get rich as quickly as possible and without doing any work. Oh well, good thing the government eventually stepped up and put new laws into effect to see that wouldn’t happen again. Then they put people to work improving and building public works and generally getting them out and being productive. It may not have been sexy but at least it held them until the Nazis filled up the newspapers. Then when that kicked off too bad all those black soldiers that fought and died wouldn’t be able to vote for a few more years yet. By then congress thought taking over from the French a little fight in a lesser known country called Vietnam was a pretty good idea. Many years and lives later who would’ve thought it’d become the hip new place to go on holiday where you can enjoy noodles and shrimp at a café right across the street from the old US Embassy where those great shots of us leaving from the roof where took. Also the tours in the tunnels that caused our guys so many problems is a real must see I guess. So now supposedly communism is not the great threat it used to be, aside from North Korea of course where some old guy has decided recently to pass on the torch of starving the locals to his fat fuck son. Now the new evil is religion. Not all religion, just the one that wants us dead and the really cool thing is they don’t need or probably even want a country they just want us dead. So, what’s the best way to fight terrorism? Well apparently up until about 2008 it was to buy real estate with no credit checks. I guess the feeling was if you can buy with no money down but decide instead to rent the terrorist win. Reagan, Bush, Clinton and Bush again all let it slide and even encouraged it as nothing takes your mind of an illegal invasion in a foreign like home ownership. Then suddenly people were fucked and banks were fucked and people were unemployed so people who never thought about voting decided to vote and who did they vote for? Barack Obama of course. Why? Because of a bunch of reasons not the least of which being that old guy John McCain who probably should've won in 2000 decided to try and trump the idea of a black man being president and got a woman as his running mate and not just any woman, one that looked pretty decent in a dress. Who cares that Sarah Palin knew very little about American foreign policy since 1901 or had never really done anything significant but let special interest groups with oil on the agenda court her while she was in Alaska, she was kinda hot in an odd Alaska governor who shoots animals kinda way. Oh yeah, because of the ratio of men to women in Alaska is so off they have a saying up there; you don’t lose your girlfriend you just lose your turn. Honestly, if it I did live there and my turn on her came up I’d have to take a pass or do her from behind, again but more on that for later. None the less, we all loved the story about her selling the state private jet on EBay and yes it’s too bad she sold it for a loss but now she knows the importance of putting a reserve on these kinds of things. So now the mid-term elections are coming up and just short of burning a cross on the white house lawn everyone with a whacky no he ain’t one of us agenda is gunning for Obama. I say good luck to them. If they win they’ll discover it ain’t as easy as it looks and that includes not being able to masturbate, I’m looking at you Christine O’Donnell. If the republicans do get it and screw it up again Obama could be a shoe in for re-election. What’s the punch line to all this? I’m not a liberal. I believe in accountability. If I fuck up and boy have I ever, I’m willing to admit to it. It stings but hopefully I won’t do it again. Then again, I’m an American and proud of it so more than likely I won’t be able to keep my opinions to myself and screw up the next opportunity presented to me. Worst case scenario I’ll just do what everyone else does back home and blame the government.